EDMO! (Central)

Now let’s be clear, I’m not having a go at them. I like it when people are enthusiastic about their food, about what they do. And while it would be nice if they could be grammatical when they do it, it’s totally fine if they’re not. I know what they mean. And it’s fun. And look at their open sign!

How neat is that?! This place is on K’Rd and sells a weird mix of kebabs and curries and pizzas and stuff, it’s like three or four more traditional food places all smooshed into one. I’ve never actually been in, so I’ve got no idea if it’s any good. Looks alright, though. And I always intended to go in, or at least I did until one day I saw this:


Come on. Yes, sure, you’re that much more correct. I bet you have heaps more customers now, countless scores of people walk past and go ‘Oh let’s not eat there honey, they don’t know how to phrase their – Oh my God! They’ve fixed it! I’m gonna get a pizza and a curry and a kebab right now!!’ And even if that was the case, we can still see the mistake! It’s right there under your flimsy bit of paper! Nobody wins.

This basically boils down to one thing: back yourself. If you make a sign, stick with it. Even if it’s not perfect it’s your sign and plenty of people like it and you’re doing just fine in terms of customers through the door despite the error. Just leave it. Or, if you decide you have to change it, it has to be fixed, once you had it pointed out to you you just couldn’t bear the mistake, then actually change the sign. Properly. Don’t be half-arsed about it, we’ll respect you less for your lack of commitment, either way. The phrase about being damned if you do or damned if you don’t is false; you’re far worse off if you sit on the fence. At least in terms of my patronage.

Captain Secret
I did this as a present for my family a few years ago. Gouache on brown paper, I forget how big. Like postcard size-ish, I think

So I went to an exhibition last night, artwork by primary and intermediate school children.
What a heap of crap. Not the art, that was fine, it was what you’d expect from kids that age. Some of it was actually quite cool. No, I’m talking about the parents. What a bunch of wankers. They made me embarrassed to be under fifty. Your children are not special. They are children. And you are not young and interesting. You’re at an art exhibition, sure, but it’s being held in the music room of an intermediate school. Stop acting like this is going to be in About Town. I swear to God, I came out of there dripping with so much smug I wanted a shower.

I’ve never seen a better argument for having kids when you’re either decrepitly old or inappropriately young – anything so that you don’t wind up becoming one of these sad trying-to-have-it-both-ways, I-drive-a-people-mover-but-I-wear-a-leather-jacket cocks. Argh. By and large I don’t like children but they were by far the most pleasant people there.

Anyway. Sorry. Just had to get that off my chest. Congratulations to all the kids with their pictures on display.

So I went to a heat of the 48 Hour Film Competition the other night, seeing as we entered this year, and it’s always good to suss out the competition. While we were waiting for the doors to open we killed some time with this:

Remember these? You fold a piece of paper up into thirds, and each of you does a portion of the body without being able to see what the others are doing. They were a staple of pimary school teachers who had stopped caring.

Anyway, we were so happy with the process and the result that we did a bunch more when we got home. I thought I’d share.

So any regular visitors to this site (there could be some, you don’t know) will have noticed that I’ve done very little here for the last little while. I’m aware of it, and I don’t like it. Things have been bouncing around all over the place lately and any great plans for organisation and mental solidity I might have had have completely fallen by the wayside.

But, you know, what else is new.

Anyway, hopefully more stuff here soon. And in the meantime, go over to the makeshift site where I’ve been putting up the occasional exhibition review and a few related rants, alongside contributions from some other clever people. Or for something a little more introspective (but no less bitter or witty) check out Clayton’s blog over here.

Or do whatever you want. I’m not the boss of you.